What are the 4 T’s? Living life to the fullest!

4 T’s is part of life’s puzzle

Temperament, Time, Trust, Talent . . . Why are they important in our life?   Who do they apply to?  What do I need them for?  When will I use them?  How will they help me find balance? Where do I begin?  All good questions and each will be addressed here, in further posts and at the retreat.

You may be thinking – why go on a retreat to find this out?  I can do it on my own.  Can You? The dictionary defines a retreat as the “process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult …”  In our modern culture we are running here and there and our minds are full of clatter and clutter.  We need to step away, withdraw, retreat from the anxieties of daily life. Focus on ourselves and where we are heading.

The 4 T’s Retreat will allow you to do that.  Withdraw from the difficulties that may be nagging you.  Step into a classroom of silence to meditate, learn, and share with others. Retreat to the St. Francis Retreat Centre in Caledon to renew and refresh yourself.  Pray. Listen.  Learn.  Share.

Carefree Timelessness

This retreat is going to be LIFE CHANGING!  It’s going to be BOLD, AUTHENTIC and will have you SOUL SEARCHING for your PASSION and PURPOSE in life once you understand more fully who you are.  Why is trust a must?  Why meditation and carefree timelessness are important.  How our talents are the keys to understanding what God created us to be.

The first T – temperament.  You may have heard of it.  Where does it come from and just how far back in time does it go? Back to the time of Hippocrates.  He named the temperaments after body fluids: Phlegm, Black Bile, Yellow Bile, and Blood. His theory, when a person has an excess of one of these body fluids, it governed their temperament.  In modern times, our temperament is formed in the mother’s womb.  Why?  Ninety percent of who we are is formed in the womb.  There have been many theorists between these two points and each approach temperament in the same, yet different, way.  They all, however, agree temperament is part of who we are and what our core needs are.

Understanding our temperament is core to understanding others.  This is why we may not see eye to eye with others in some areas of our lives.  They’re NOT out to get us! ! ! They just think, act and do differently than us.

 

 

 

 

How does our temperament overlay with Matthew Kelly’s book, “The Seven Levels of Intimacy”?

Intrigued?  Stay tuned for further overlays.

Also coming up:  TIME.  You are given $1,440 every day.  How do you spend it?

Taking it For Granted

Since June 1 I’ve experienced seven deaths.  Parent’s of some of my friends, friends, relatives, someone  I cared for.  I wondered what it all meant.  We all wonder when this happens “What does this mean?”  I stressed myself out about this and berated myself.  Then today, I decided to write down the details of each death and sit quietly and reflect on them.  By the way, did I mention one cat was put to sleep and two fridges went into severe melt down mode.

What I came up with, in each instance, I had that gut feeling to get in touch with everyone and I ignored that gut feeling.  The one that said “call Marguerite’, ‘get to the hospital before 3 PM’, ‘go visit Malcolm’. Yes, I ignored them and then the news came.  Usually in the form of a phone call.  Now I shake my head and realize I can’t take those gut feelings for granted.   I missed seeing some very special people for one more laugh, one more song, one more prayer, one more selfie and one more time.

As I sat and reflected on this, I recalled a speech I recently heard entitle “Taking it for Granted”. We do take things for granted. I took my gut feelings for granted. I began to think deeper, what else do I take for granted?  Family. Phone calls. Friendships.  Especially friendships.  We want friendships to be lasting and  grow. Sometimes things just slip through the cracks.  Like those gut feelings of mine.

Recently (I’m such an Authentic Blue) I asked someone to be my friend.  They said yes.  I repeated myself.  I just want to be friends.  No strings attached.  Pure friendship.  OK.  I was so excited.  The next day I wrote them a thank you note and asked if they wanted to go for coffee in a couple of days.  No answer.  Hmmmm . . . I wrote another email and asked them for their opinion about a speech I was writing (I thought they said they would help me.).  Again no answer.  Now the Authentic Blue’s stress kicks in – guilt.  Was I over bearing?  Did I insult them? Did they think I wanted more than friendship?  Did something happen to them?  Are they OK?  Why do I get so excited when someone says yes to a friendship?  And then feel disappointed when it doesn’t happen the way I want it to happen?

The word friend and friendship has ‘end’ in it and that’s what I want and that’s what many of us want.  Friend to the ‘end’.   Although, sometimes, when we reach a level that begins to grow and deepen we can get scared and run away.  Why?  Because that person will say, ‘Gee I really like you.’  And you may be thinking,  ‘You like the person who you think I am. If you really knew me . . .you wouldn’t like me.”  This deep abiding friendship is called Philia friendship a close friendship, brotherly friendship.  It’s what many of us want, yet seem to run from.  Why?  Ask yourself Why and ponder it in your heart.

I so admire couples who stick it out even after so many years.  Why?  I keep asking myself, Why?  Opposites attract because of opposing strengths and weaknesses.  And what happens – they can either come to blows or use this to complement each other. Understanding yourself first and then understanding your opposites and the others in your life can truly grow relationships.  And we all want great relationships.

Authentic Blues and Inquiring Greens usually attract.  Organized Golds and Resourceful Oranges usually attract.  Let’s keep the attraction going.  Let’s discover how we can work with each other.  Let’s discover our temperament.

Our temperament was formed in the womb.  90% of who we are was formed in the womb.  Yes, we use all 4 of the temperaments, as this allows us to become well-rounded, even tempered people.  Although our core self will always be who we were created to be.

This is so exciting. Now I feel so un-stressed about the recent deaths of everyone.  You see I took the time to internalize and read and reflect.  I was able to draw good out of what had befallen me.

When we take the time  . . .  we understand and let it go and move forward with confidence and understanding.

A special thank you to Rene who inspired me for the title of this post.

It’s time . . . . Things remembered to be constantly reminded of . .

Everyday words or acronyms can help us through life . . .  You know those everyday words or acronyms:

PITA – When referring to a Pain in the Armpit  – – –  You know who those people are.  They’ve done things this way for how many years? They find it difficult to change.  It’s their way or the highway  . .  . do you think it might be part of their temperament?   Their make-up?  Their chemistry?

Q-Tip –  we have to remind ourself “Quit Taking It Personally”.   We sometimes think people are out to get us . .  not so, not so.  It’s usually about them and they may be taking it out on us.  How do you deal with that?  That’s a good question .  . stop and ponder it for a while.  Just how do you deal with people when it’s all about them and they may not even be aware they’re doing this to you.  First thing is to realize it may be about them.  Then you can move forward.

We talk about F.E.A.R. Zig Ziglar says – it’s False Evidence Appearing Real . . . Can we change it to Feeling Energized and Ready!   This will allow you to turn the switch and move forward . . .

What about those people in our life, who seems lost in thought . . .  deep in thought.  They may not even acknowledge you  . . .  Their mind is on their work on that project.  So perhaps they may say something and you might take it personally or you think they don’t have feelings because it’s about work and getting the job done and knowing every aspect of the job.    Mind you  . .  they do like to play the devil’s advocate.   How do you deal with them?

How can we forget those people who enjoy life . . . although they are hard working with ten fingers in the pot at the same time. . . constantly going back and forth.  You know the ones, they seem to have A.D.H.D.  (Any Day [is a] Happy Day).   They seem to go with the flow, roll with the punches ..  handle crises with ease . . .     It can be irritating to people who like procedures and order.

Dealing with people can be a challenge . .  remembering where they come from helps. Understanding where you come from is job ONE!   Once you understand who you are, you can definitely understand who they are.

When relationships are important in all aspects of your life . . . understanding that people don’t stay awake all night long trying to get even with you  . . .  certainly lets you sleep well!